rockstar??

So last night our band opened for the popular Christian rock band "Seventh Day Slumber". It was a great evening. I was exhausted though--I got up at 5:30 a.m. to drive to the state choir teacher's convention and then had to rush home to get to the concert and soundcheck/set-up. We had between 300-400 in attendance though and it was a lot of fun. If you want to hear our music, go to http://www.muzzleloadermusic.com/

While we were setting up right before we played, a lot of the kids/teenagers were standing around the stage and some of my students were there. They were all waving at me and then one of my 6th graders screamed up at me, "Hey Mrs. B--You're a ROCKSTAR!!!" I looked down at him, laughed, and said, "No, I'm a teacher and I'm YOUR teacher!" I so do not consider myself a rockstar! Oh, out of the mouths of babes........

Pictures to come!

Redecorating time!

My day begins with a cup of coffee---every day of my life! I hated coffee growing up and now absolutely love it. Not just any coffee---GOOD coffee. That means NO McDonald's or gas stations or teacher's lounge coffee. Nasty!!! As my mom-in-law would say, "I am a coffee snob!" I will drink 2 kinds--Starbucks and the best in the world--Gloria Jean's. My sis-in-law Jennifer got me hooked on Gloria Jeans. I order it online or have someone pick it up for me if they are near a GJ store. My fav is Caramel Nut. If you're a coffee fan and you've never tried GJ, you need to! It is scrumptious and that is precisely why I can't drink anything else (except SB).

So since I am such a coffee freak, I decided it's time to decorate my kitchen after my love for the drink. I have had sunflower decor in my kitchen for the 10.5 years we've been married. I love it, but it is time for a change--it's so hard though because I have a lot of it now and I started removing the sunflower stuff today and my kitchen looked bare. So I decided to leave it up until I get more coffee stuff. I got 2 little pictures the other day at Hobby Lobby, but it seems like coffee isn't that popular anymore. WHAT IN THE WORLD? How can coffee not be in style? I just kept finding rooster decor. Any suggestions where I can buy coffee stuff? I am gonna try Kirkland's and TJ Maxx next week when I go to state choir teacher's convention. Here are the 2 pictures I bought:

It's a start! My super creative friend Kristy said she would paint me a sign that says, "Life is too short for cheap coffee". That is my favorite saying when it comes to this addiction I have. I have looked for signs that say this, but all I can find are pillows. ??? Sorry, no sleeping in my kitchen...no need for a pillow!?!

I'm having trouble parting with my favorite sunflower picture. What do you think? Would it go with coffee? (I do not have a decorating bone in my body BTW--I can clean though!!!)

Here it is!

Here's my new hairdo--thanks for your suggestions--I went bold (well, bold for me). I love red--it's my fav color. My hair wasn't supposed to be that short, but it'll work--as long as I can put it in a ponytail! I may not look younger, but I feel it! ha!

Chef Susan

I cooked dinner tonight...can somebody say "Amen"!?! Yes, friends that know me know my husband and I NEVER eat at home...but tonight I cooked......MEATLOAF! I thought my husband was gonna die when I told him what I was making. I am a meatloaf fan and he is definitely not. (I did not post a picture because all meatloaf looks disgusting.) My mom made it a lot for Sunday lunch growing up and for some reason, that's what I wanted for dinner tonight. I've never made it in 10 1/2 years of marriage. I called my mom in a panic needing to know exactly how to do it. For some reason, she spent the first 3 minutes of our phone conversation laughing. Thanks Mom!

Here is how it went when I set it down in front of Jeremiah:

Bubby: Ok. Here goes......uh.....think I'll eat my mashed potatoes first.

Me: Come on, just taste it.

Bubby: (takes bite) Wow, it's not too bad.

Me: Really???!!!

Bubby: But...it's not too good!

Me: (sad, pouty face)

Bubby: Just kidding! It's actually not as bad as I thought!


Well, thank you very much! It's not near as good as my mama's! Maybe I should just stick to chocolate chip cookies! I've mastered those!

Curriculum mapping workshop tomorrow and Wednesday--fun.

Getting hair done on Wednesday. Our band opens up for Seventh Day Slumber (christian rock band for those of you who are wondering) next week in concert and I'm thinking I might need to go a little bolder with my hair. I love to get highlights and while I am 30 and want to act it, in some ways I want to LOOK younger so the youth at the concert don't call me grandma. Any suggestions? :)

Got it all together?????

So today at church one of my friends turned to me and said, "Wow, you just always have it all together". ummmm....what???????????? I've been turning this over in my head all day wondering, "What in the world is she talking about?" That is the last thing I think about myself. I am a woman that struggles with so many fears/insecurities on a daily basis. Part of me thinks I have grown so much in my honesty with people and life in general because of having a chemical pregnancy with our IVF cycle last year. It was so painful/hurtful and I still struggle with it so much even 14 months later and admit that and don't try to hide it. But I've never thought about my new attitude as being a positive one, although my husband thinks it is (he's more blunt and honest than me). I have gone through feelings of "I just don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore" to crying after church today because someone didn't speak to me. What is wrong with me? Let me back up.....

I am a preacher's kid, raised in church, speaks to and loves everyone, always the center of attention pk. I moved a lot growing up and went to 3 high schools my junior year. I had to learn how to make friends and do it quickly. That has always been easy for me. My heart goes out to all the new kids at the school where I teach and I go out of my way to make them feel comfortable in my choir and to make sure they get adjusted/hooked up with the right kids.

Today after church I was standing outside talking to a friend and a family walked by who I know somewhat. I turned my body towards them and said, "Hi, how are ya'll today?" The husband responded "fine" and the wife completely ignored me like I was invisible. I don't know why but it tore me up. I went home and cried. Why? What does it matter? On another day I might have just said, "Who cares." But not today. It really hurt me. I feel like I go out of my way to be kind and friendly and sometimes it just bites me in the face and I end up feeling stupid and insecure. Today was obviously not the first time I've struggled with something like this.

The point for me in this post is not "why did that woman snub me", but why did it bother me and how do I change that? Does it have to do with how I grew up? How do I get past the point of letting something this small make me cry and feel shunned? And since I'm being honest, let me just be even more so....my first thought is when women snub me, maybe it is because I'm not a mommy and they are, so we obviously don't have anything in common. I know I shouldn't think that---all but one of my close friends/family members have 1-4 children, but that is where my mind goes since I've struggled with infertility so long.

Tomorrow is a new day. I pray God would show me how to be more kind and to love like He does.

Cleaning day

I love to clean.
I love to organize.
I love to get rid of stuff.
I appreciate my things more when they are clean.

I spent the day cleaning my house and my car. Lately I've really been wanting a bigger house and a new car. Sometimes when I get depressed, I think about spending money to buy something that would make me happy, although I know I can't buy happiness. And goodness knows I won't be happy when I'm making a car payment (haven't had one in 3 years) or a larger house payment. So I just go through and de-clutter some more, scrub everything down with Windex with vinegar and run my 'ol Honda through the fancy car wash, and I feel better. sorta. :) Why is it we always dream about the things we don't have? My sis-in-law Jennifer has a sign in her house that says, "Want what you have". So true, but I don't think I've learned it yet!

Sonic time with my hubby! Enjoy your weekend!

New blog friend!

So today I got to meet another blogger! Jennifer and her beautiful baby, Caroline, from meetthemcfamily! She came down to hang out with Kristy, one of my teacher buds and Kristy invited me over. It is so neat to meet people whose blogs you read....it's such a small world!

Here is a picture with me and Kinley, Kristy's 2 year old. She is oh so cute and says the funniest things. Today she looked at her mommy and said, "Mommy, Keira said stupid". Keira is her 4 year old sister-I always crack up when siblings tell on each other and repeat the word they are telling on the other one for.

When I left today, Kinley waved at me and said, "Bye Aunt Susan". Keira started calling me that out of the blue and OF COURSE I don't mind! I have 10 nieces and nephews (and one on the way) and lots of friends kids that are just like my nieces/nephews. What a blessing they all are in my life! Hopefully someday soon I can give them a cousin/niece/nephew. My patience is sure not increasing. Waiting to be a parent is so difficult and tiring. I pray God will fill the desire of my heart and show us the path we need to go to become parents, whether it be IVF again or adoption.