Friday, April 2, 2010

I'm Baaaccckkk.............for 1 post at least!

Well, as you already know, I stink at blogging! I enjoy doing it, but can't seem to find the time and when I do have time, feel like my little life is so boring! I've started a post a couple times in the past 3 months, but then thought, "why does anyone want to read about this?" and canceled it. I do still read blogs every day on google reader at school!

Nothing is different in my life. No pregnancy, new job, new car, etc. Most days I'm totally fine with that, and then other days I'm as depressed as can be. To be perfectly honest, somedays reading blogs really depresses me. My husband and I have discussed it and he has asked me to stop reading so many infertility blogs as most of the women eventually get pregnant and then it reminds me once again that I am not and then I question what we've done wrong. Please don't misunderstand, those of you reading this who are pregnant or have children, that is awesome and God has truly blessed you! He has blessed me too, but not with a child yet and I still grieve about that. And somedays reading blogs makes me question if we aren't pursuing hard enough or praying hard enough, because other women achieve pregnancy, and we don't. We have not done IVF again and are not going to at this point--we believe that God is going to bless us another way and we are excited about that, but I still grieve for not carrying a child in my womb.
I started this blog to be an outlet for my struggles with infertility, but you know, when I talk about it and think about it too much, the depression is overwhelming. You that are still walking this rough road know exactly what I'm talking about. So......now you know one of the main reasons I don't blog much....I don't wanna depress myself or my few readers! With that said, here is what makes us happy right now!
Our baby Oliver! What a joy this little guy is!
And now for something else that makes me happy--dinner with Kristy and her Jeremiah and my Jeremiah!

4 comments:

Kristy said...

My Jeremiah and I had a blast! :)

It makes me so sad reading about the hurt... I want so badly for you to get your sweet baby! It WILL happen and I am going to squeeze and cuddle and love that baby so much!

Love ya, girl! Glad you posted! :)

Kara said...

I am so glad you blogged! I haven't mentioned it to you because I wanted you to blog when YOU wanted to! But I like your blogs...:) and one day I know this blog will have a cute little squishy face posted all over it. HA! Annnnnd, everything you said makes total sense.

Holli said...

Love you Susan!

The Coach's Wife said...

Love you, love you, love you! I know how hard it is to read those blogs...believe me! I know God has some BIG plans for you!