Thanks everyone for your comments. Although it doesn't make me feel better that there are others of you out there struggling with infertility, it does help me to see that God is not 'singleing' me out. I find myself so many days asking, "What did I do wrong? What can I do different for you to see me worthy to have a child? How much longer is this going to go on?" I don't know that I'll ever know the answers.

I found out this weekend that my in-laws are moving to Denver because of work. I have been so emotional about this. My whole family live in California and I am extremely close to my mother-in-law here--we live 2 miles away. She has been one of my best friends for years. (I was one of the only girls she ever liked that my husband dated--of course, that instantly made us friends!) My main selfish thought when she told us they were moving was, "You have to be here when we finally have a baby". But, I'm not pregnant and I know they can't plan their life around us. She has held me and prayed with me and loved me so many times after bad doctor's appts., hurtful words from people, when family members/friends have announced a pregnancy, etc. She is such a woman of God and I look up to her so much and feel like I NEED her right now at this time in my life. I know once again, that God will get me through this time, but I do wonder how strong He thinks I am!

I don't want this blog to be full of depressing talk--I've probably scared or depressed half of you away already. I HOPE that one day it will be filled with the greatest blessing I could ever receive.

I will leave you with some of the lyrics to one of my favorite worship songs, "I Have to Believe" by Rita Springer:

I have to believe that He sees my darkness.

I have to believe that He knows my pain.

I have to lift up my hands to worship. Worship His name.

I have to declare that He is my refuge.

I have to deny that I am alone.

I have to lift up my eyes to the mountains.

It's where my help comes from.

He said that He's forever faithful.

He said that He's forever true.

He said that He can move mountains.

He can move my mountain.

He can move your mountain too.

Thanks for reading,

Susan